Some stories from some unusual days of my life, with lessons learned ... click a story name to get there ...
Bombay Belly (1988?)
Women in Thailand (1994?)
This is the story of a time that Jade and I traveled up from Singapore to Thailand, when we were living in Townsville, Australia. We flew to Singapore, which was not particularly exciting, and then went into Malaysia where I did some SCUBA diving on the island of Langkawi. Langkawi was very simple, with a life based on the ocean.
From Langkawi we took a local ferry to the Satun province, where we arrived in Tammalang. When we presented our non-Thai passports the passport control officials were very excited. Clearly this was not a common event. Nobody really spoke English, but after a while we established that there was no hotel in Tammalang, and that we would need to go on to Hat Yai in order to find somewhere to stay. We found a guy who said he would take us in his taxi. We were rather worried because Hat Yai was over an hour away, but he said he could make it cheaper if he could take one of his friends halfway, to which we readily agreed. It turned out to be only AU$20 anyway, if I remember correctly. I do remember sitting in the back of his old Mercedes and being scared shitless as we drove at breakneck speeds on tiny winding roads. At one point I just closed my eyes and realized that I would either make it to Hat Yai or die on the way. We did make it, and were dropped at a hotel.
The next day we flew to Bangkok where we found a hotel in a reasonable area. Jade and I had a great time in Bangkok, looking at the different things and eating crazy foods like grasshoppers and other bugs. Jade has a great appetite for such things. One night we decided to go off to the famous Pat Pong road district, which is known for sex shows, etc. It was great that Jade was into that kind of excitement, and I don't mind watching girls shooting things out of their viginas. Drinking all the time of course, but after while it wears a bit thin, so we decided we would head back to the hotel. On the way back down the street we heard loud fun music coming out of a side street, and saw a club with lots of lights and colors and music. We decided to go down and have a drink, which sounded like a fun idea. In the club we found a table, and there was a large platform in the middle of the place where girls were dancing with numbers on their waists. Clearly you could buy one. When I came back from the bar getting the drinks I found that Jade had made away up onto the platform with all the other dancing girls. I told her to come down, but the bouncer standing there was insistent that she could not come down unless I paid in the usual way. So fuck it, I ended up paying to get my wife back off the dancing stage. That was funny enough, and it wasn't that expensive. Come to think of it I could have got a exchange model, but I didn't. Later one of the girls came down and started chatting with us - we became quite friendly. Somehow, with drinks involved, it ended up with her coming back to our hotel room. I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen, but things didn't seem too bad at the time. Back in the hotel room Jade got into bed. I'm not quite sure if she had taken her clothes off! I was pouring drinks, and at some point I was definitely naked chasing the Thai dancing girl around the room. I recall Jade saying "Don't you dare". I guess we eventually paid her and chased her out the room. That was a threesome I never had.
The next day we were going up to Chang Mai (or was it Chang Rai?) in Northern Thailand, and we had a few hours to spare before our flight. Serendipitously we bumped into Jim Bell on the side of the street in Bangkok - Jim was a lecturer at James Cook University where I worked in Townsville. He was going to take the bus to Chang Mai, so we agreed to meet in Chang Mai. In a nondescript bar in Chang Mai we were chatting away when a young girl came over. Seeing that I was with Jade she decided to befriend Jim. Jim very kindly decided to frisk under her skirt for hidden weapons. I'm grateful for his diligence in protecting us, in case she had some kind of explosive in her panties. I'm not quite sure where that all ended up.
The next day Jade and I took a "tour" to see the ladies who put rings around their necks in order to extend their necks, apparently quite an attraction. The rings can't be taken off because the neck muscles deteriorate. The driver/guide who took us was quite a friendly chap. At some point he stopped on the side of the road and told us we now had to get out and climb up the hillside to get to the village where the women lived. That was a real steep climb ... he and I and Jade pulling and pushing each other up a slippery slope - there were no stairs, no real pathway, or anything. When we got to the village it was quite an eye opening sight. We spent a short while there and took some photographs. The ladies were definitely beautiful, and definitely looked very different from anything we'd ever seen before. At the end we slip-slided down the slope, and the guide took us back into Chang Mai. I think from there we flew directly back to Australia.
So, I'd bought back my wife, not slept with a prostitute, and seen ladies with long necks. There's a moral to this story ... you can go different places, you'll meet different woman, but you still end up happy going home with the first one.